Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Book's, baby's and Pea's for dinner

How about an update? Since I last wrote a lot of changed, especially the fact that I am now a bona fide, proud mama to a great baby named Bobby (well, Robert Leendert Johannes but Bobby seems fitting for him while he is still just a little thing).

I dare you to find a Bob in this world who isn't a great guy. And folks, rest assured, I've added another wonderful one to the list.
The day I was induced was possibly the best, albeit craziest day ever. Wait, did I say day, I meant days, as in the two it took from time of induction to meeting baby vdv.
I'm not sure I can recount that story just now, I still haven't written it down. I told a little tiny piece of it at the dinner table the other night in what was previously a normal conversation before the subject came up. Shortly after starting I was awkwardly crying and those who missed the change in subject and looked up to see my tears wondered what had happened.

 I never knew the reserve I had until I sucked every ounce of it out of the deepest parts of me in order to bring my sweet baby into this world. I've never been so desperate, so focused, or so determined in my life. We defied all the odds, me and Bobby. And we did it with the help of the only one true God, our savior and deliverer. Writing it down will be something that needs to be done when the time is right, and then maybe I'll share it.
Children are a gift from the Lord and I will forever hold that truth near to my heart when I look at the boy who made me a mama.

In other news...
I don't like to respond to people that I'm 'busy' when they ask how I'm doing. Really I'm not, I strive not to be. Turning thirty this year has strengthened my resolve to act out daily more of who I am, not how I'd like others to perceive me. I like to have a quiet life, time to relax with my family, and time for myself. I like to have my personal journey with God urge me in matters of spirituality and in my walk of life. I think I could be doing more in ways of service, actually turn that 'think' into a 'know'. Part of that comes from re-entry into life here in the states. Turns out that process doesn't just last a week. hmm.
 I don't feel like working and home life is enough but if I take a step back and consider my marriage, difficult pregnancy, traumatic labor, being a new mom, anxiety over work, preparing our family house to be sold after my parents have been living here 35 years and several other major life changes all within the last year and a half, I tend to give myself a break and remind myself that there is a time for everything. My service is much like it was in Africa. I am simply supposed to serve the people God has put me in front of, and that's that.

I still think about writing all the time. In my head I formulate a sentence or a train of thoughts and start stringing them together as if I am going to write them down. I'd like to make the time, its cathartic and also provides a set-apart time for introspection (That's also on my list of things want to do more of). So basically I've read some great books, had a baby, and I am in the middle of moving and preparing for our entire Dutch family to come for a three week all-american tour starting next week. All while trying not to answer any questions with "I'm busy".

Pea's, anyone?