The Greatest Gift

I don't even know where to start with this post. The reasoning behind the title is that today is my 26th Birthday. I'm not one for big celebrations, I don't get excited for big huge gifts, quite the opposite actually. The greatest gift in my opinion is one that is thoughtful and shows how much someone knows and loves me. The thought truly is what matters to me. Last night and this morning I thought it would be really good to spend the day reflecting on my life over the last year and this meant spending time with God and being open to what He wanted to show me. I started off with my daily bible study which is Beth Moore's "Breaking Free". This study has changed my life and faith beyond words. If you look back to my post on Grace I touched on how it has been a theme throughout my new walk as a Christian for over a year. Since that post and accepting Gods Grace as a gift, I have seen how that acceptance has changed my life. One of the topics in the study a few days ago was about trading ashes for a crown of beauty. Wearing ashes back in biblical times was a sign of mourning. I was blessed by this imagery of trading my ashes for a crown of beauty and so thankful for its timing. Today the study was about beauty and seeing myself as Christ would see me. It touched me that the worldly definition of beauty can completely ruin a woman, and no one can ever feel truly beautiful unless they know Christ. I made the decision to cast away insecurities and doubt in order to trade them for a life where I am beautiful through Christ.
Now for the gift :)
I started a book called "Redeeming Love" while on vacation a couple of weeks ago. I read almost the entire book in one sitting but had about 100 pages to go. I hadn't found the time since to sit and read until this morning. The book was inspired by the book of Hosea. The story is of a man who is called by God to marry and love a prostitute. The man represents the heart of Christ. The prostitute feels completely undeserving of his love and runs from it over and over. She is never healed of her shame and despair until she realizes God is her only answer for salvation and redemption. I can't put into words exactly how I have completely been rocked by this book. I joked with someone how I never mastered "forgiveness 101" in becoming a Christian. I accepted Gods forgiveness but was holding out on forgiving myself out of guilt for things in my past. I read the authors note about why she wrote the book and came across this quote:
"There are many who struggle to survive in life, many who have been used and abused in the name of love, many who have been sacrificed on the alters of pleasure and "freedom". But the freedom the world offers is, in reality, false. Too many people have awakened one day to discover they are in bondage, and they have no way to escape it."
Well that just about describes me until recently!
On April 24th of last year I came across Psalm 71 and was struck that morning by verse 15; "My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure." I prayed that morning for direction from God in my current relationship with a boyfriend. Within hours I was devastated by lies and deceit within that relationship and had my bags packed. I went back to Psalm 71 that same afternoon and verses 20-21 came to me as a promise from God. "Though you have made me see troubles many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again."
Last year on my 25th birthday I was at one of the lowest points I can remember. Everything I had put my faith in had crumbled. All I held onto was this promise of restoration from a God I was just getting to know. This year I have grown and matured spiritually, all the while holding on to insecurities and guilt. Now, exactly 1 year later, I am a new person. I have come to know and accept grace, forgiveness, and feel restored. The fact that I finished "Redeeming Love" today and learned these lessons was not an accident, it was a precious, thoughtful gift from my father and friend. Every study, verse, and sermon in the last 3 weeks has prepared me for today. Let me leave off with one last verse from Psalm 71, which has again proven to be a very special Psalm in my life.
Psalm 71:23
"My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you-I, whom you have redeemed."