Perspectives

There are times when all of us need a "reality check" and today was one of those times for me. I want to start off with a quick story from yesterday. I was up at Soulfest for the last couple of days with a family that is very special to me. I worked the Mercy Ships tent up there with them and had quite the weekend, although the last 10 minutes may have been the most powerful. This family, in particular Dennis (or "Den" as we all call him) are incredible witnesses to the power of God working. Dennis was adopted as a baby. He has multiple medical issues and "challenges" (Den's mom Kathy would never call them defects). I met Den and his family a little over a year ago when I was his nurse. This family is ultimately the tools God used to bring me to Mercy Ships, and I was excited to spend some time OUTSIDE of the hospital with them!
Last year around this time Den was undergoing one of his 17 neuro-surgeries of the summer. This year the organizers of Soulfest asked him to speak in front of thousands for a "True Love" point. With all of the chaos Den had no time to prepare and with just prayers he went out on stage. I can't explain the faith that this man has, it is astonishing. He shared his "life" verse which sent tears streaming down my cheeks as it had the first time I heard him recite it. His verse is Acts 20:24 "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given to me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." I am proud to be considered one of Den's recruits for Mercy Ships, believe me when I tell you I am one of many. He is an avid witness and so wise although often regarded as mentally retarded by people who don't take the time to know to him. He is an example of someone whose life is regarded as pointless or useless in this society, but Jesus refers to him in Luke 9:48 "Whoever welcomes this child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For he who is least among you all-he is the greatest." (By the way this was the verse Den's parents read when they were praying about whether or not to adopt a child with special needs)
Now for my reality check...
I have had a long week which included just 4 something hours of sleep last night before a 12 hour shift today. I had one of those days where everything was 10 times harder than it needed to be and I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I was so exhausted and although I rarely complain out loud, what was going through my head was fairly pathetic. I could not WAIT to get out for the night and go home for a good night's sleep. On my way to the elevators the overhead speakers came on and announced a "code blue" on our neighboring unit which houses the transplant patients. When a code is called the air takes on this charge, almost an electricity, and it is sickening when you realize a child is on the other end of the emergency. I got to the garage and just prayed for everyone, the child, their family, and for wisdom and discretion for the doctors and nurses present at the code. As I was driving I started realizing how devastating this situation is. Imagine waiting for your child to receive an organ that is often their only chance for survival, just to have that promise of a new life taken away. Those kids in particular are really sick, and survival although good, its not 100%. I found myself feeling intense empathy for the parents of the child and other children who don't survive and the word "Why" started creeping into my thoughts. Immediately Psalm 46:10 came to mind. "Be still and know that I am God". We don't understand God's plan, it stretches through eternity, the concept of which we can't even begin to comprehend.
God is present in every moment of every day, He does not turn away from us in times of hardship. During those times sometimes we need to be reminded to "Be still".
Needless to say I felt pretty guilty for my ridiculous self pity earlier in the day. My perspective on life is back in check for now. I'm sure I will always need reality checks, my lesson today was to be open to them so I can learn from them.
The first time I heard Psalm 46:10 was when I heard Den's mom tell me a story. I came in one morning and she told me the night before that Den had been in considerable pain and in the middle of all of it he looked at her and said "Mom, God just told me to be still and know the He is God". This was just weeks before he would start undergoing his 17 surgeries. God is undeniable, none of this can be dismissed as coincidence, we just need to all be open to what He has to share with us and keep life in perspective.