Sin

The other day I got home from doing errands just as an awesome song was playing in my car. It was a beautiful day, sun was shining..the whole bit. I left the car running and stood outside while the song played. I was instantly brought back to a time in my life when I spent a lot of time standing around outside a car listening to music. Actually, in high school, the majority of my time was spent doing just that. Whether it was in a parking lot while skipping class to lay on the hood of the car on a sunny day, or while tailgating for a concert, some of my fondest memories were those times hanging out with friends enjoying good music and good times. I had this overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. I remembered how I felt during those times and remember being happy, even joyful. I thought to myself how at that very moment my past sinful life seemed appealing. Instantly the message from church a few days before came back to my conscious mind. The pastor quoted a saying that really impacted me. I can't find the original source, but I found the quote:

"Sin will take you farther than you wanted to go, it will keep you longer than you wanted to stay and will cost you a lot more than you wanted to pay."

I realized that this is exactly what had happened to me. Those days that felt carefree turned into dark, troubling times over the course of 10 or so years. I ended up in a pit of insecurity, shame, and doubt, I was so lost. It was only by grace that I was saved. Sin took me to places no one would ever want to go, it kept me there for 10 years, and cost me so much that I still have healing to accomplish from decisions in my past. I know temptation will always lie around every corner, I also know that because of my past I will never turn my back on my savior and redeemer. While doing my bible study this morning (Experiencing God-highly recommend it), I came across an analogy I really identified with.
"Suppose you had to cross a field full of land mines, and a person who knew exactly where each one was buried offered to take you through it. Would you say to him, "I don't want you to tell me what to do. I have free will!" I don't want you to impose your ways on me" I don't know about you but I would stay as close to that person as I could and certainly would not wander off. His directions to me would preserve my life. He would say, "Don't go that way, because that way will kill you. Go this way, and you will live." This is the purpose of Gods commands. He wants you to receive life and have it abundantly. When the Lord gives you a command, He is trying to protect and preserve the best He has for you. He does not want you to lose it. When God gives a command He is not restricting you. He is freeing you."

At times sin seems appealing because it is "freedom" from rules or the standards of being a Christian, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. Sin is binding, it brings you into a dark captivity that is filled with lies and hurt. It starts off fun and seemingly innocent and before you know it, it has taken hold of your life. I am amazed everyday at how powerful God is. I am also excited because by spending time with Him everyday I am growing and maturing in my faith which is the most important thing in my life. In a way I am thankful for my past because there is no question in my mind of what life looks like without God, therefore I never want to pay that price again. I keep saying Psalm 119:105 in my head while writing this post, so I'll leave off with that.
Psalm 119:105
"Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."