Seeing the other side...

Since making the decision to become a long term missionary there have been a million thoughts running through my head. At any given point if you asked me what was on my mind I would have about 10 things to talk about, some ridiculous, some really important. I have been so happy for the peace I have had covering everything thus far. I had one minor meltdown a few weeks ago but I think it was due to a major build up of anxious thoughts during a two day period where I hadn't made time to be wrapped in God's word or on my knees in prayer. Even that meltdown didn't last more then 15 minutes and ceased only because God heard my tear-filled prayers and covered me yet again with his grace. I had a major change in my thought process yesterday concerning all of this and therefore wanted to share. My line of thinking and praying up until now has been to be free of anxieties and fears, for financial provisions, health and safety of family while I'm gone, etc... I was at a concert last night (Brook Frasier, really good) and it hit me all of a sudden. She is a big supporter of World Vision and when asking people to check it out she said something along the lines of how children in the third world countries may be praying for help, for just someone to make life a little bit easier, and by supporting one we could answer those prayers. I just cried at the thought of that image, a little child praying for help... I realized last night that there is a whole different side to this spectrum of missions. There are people, brothers and sisters of mine in Christ, literally dying and praying for help. Next year is not about me, my financials, even my family. Next year is about God and showing the people of Africa how powerful His love and mercy are. God is answering the prayers of these people by sending a ship of doctors and nurses to them, I can't even tell you how powerful this line of thinking is for me, I can hardly keep myself from just crying about it. I am going to start praying for my time there, to be prepared and let God use this time over the next 3 months to work in my heart. I have not had issues with trust concerning all of the preperations, however I need to just surrrender it and not let my thoughts constantly be on all of these logistics. I read this poem just a few minutes ago and again find myself holding back tears, this is emotional stuff!! haha, I am just happy to be so encouraged by seeing the other side of this, I am thankful that my eyes have been opened to the "bigger picture".

A Prayer for the Children… by Ina J. Hughes
"We pray for the children who put chocolate fingers everywhere, who like to be tickled, who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants, who sneak Popsicles before supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who can never find their shoes. We pray for children who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions, who sleep with the dog and bury goldfish, who give hugs in a hurry and forget their lunch money, who cover themselves with Band-Aids and sing off-key, who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink, who slurp their soup. And we pray for those who never get dessert, who watch their parents watch them die, who have no safe blanket to drag behind, who can’t find any bread to steal, who don’t have any rooms to clean up, whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser, whose monsters are real. We pray for children who spend all their allowance before Tuesday, who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food, who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the bed, who never rinse out the tub, who get visits from the tooth fairy, who don't like to be kissed in front of the school, who squirm in church or temple or mosque and scream in the phone, whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry. And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime, who will eat anything, who aren't spoiled by anybody, who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep, who live and move, but have no being. We pray for children who want to be carried, and for those who must. For those we never give up on, and for those who never get a chance. For those we smother with our love, and for those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it."