Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The "P" word

I don't even know where to begin, I literally feel like I have a million thoughts running through my head. Tonight I finished my BSN. I have been going full time for 3 years which brings my grand total of school + work to 6 years. I obviously didn't take the traditional track when it came to school, but first things first...
Growing up my mom brought up the word potential about 10 times a day (not really, but it seemed like it at the time). I hated it so much I asked her not to say the word 'potential'...ever. Instead she called it the "P" word, which we still laugh about when we talk about it now. I barely graduated high school due to pure lack of desire to even show up for class. I think my GPA leaving high school was 1.2 or something just as pathetic. The prospect of nursing came into play about two years later and the rest is history. Once I was dedicated to becoming a nurse I went full-force, nothing could stop me. I wasn't walking with God yet he was undoubtedly guiding me and "carrying" me through the trouble spots. I tried the other day to write out my life and all God has done has done throughout the years, I couldn't even scratch the surface! One thing I do know is my becoming a nurse was Gods plan all along. Nursing isn't a job for me, its who I am, through and through. God is using me and my profession in really awesome ways, and I don't think I could have appreciated it had I not gone through all of the other "junk".
Thinking about it now I think it is awesome that my mom saw my potential even when I was screwing up, it is just one of the many signs of her love for me. What's incredible is God also knew my potential and even though I had turned my back on him He continued to be faithful, every day. His love astounds me. Tonight when I finished my final quiz I was shocked. I couldn't believe I was done. I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Right away I thought about thanking God (after I thanked Jenny for helping me with the math quiz). My thoughts were immediatly on Him. A few years ago I would have thought about how to celebrate, likely with a night out at some bar. Tonight after I said I felt like jumping and collapsing all at the same time a friend suggested I do both. So...after the quick jumping up and down I took her advice of lying outside and star-gazing. Although there were no stars I had a really special moment. I just got on my knees and prayed, right there in my front yard. I just kept thanking God for where I have come from and where I'm going. I thanked Him over and over again.
I am so grateful to the people in my life who never gave up on me and believed I had potential. I am most grateful to God who gave me the potential to be and do more, even when I wasn't looking to Him for guidance. Looking ahead I know life won't always be easy, but I do know I will always have God leading my steps and helping me live up to his "potential" for me ;)

3 comments:

Annemarie said...

Beautiful entry, and congrats on finishing your BSN. :)

Krista Photography said...

Congratulations!!!! You = amazing :)

champagne said...

My Dearest Suzanne
My prayer verse for you for 20 years has been: "I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans for a future and hope." God has answered that prayer over and over in many amazing ways. I am in awe of His grace and mercy! You will continually be blessed by God as long as you are living out His Godly potential for your life. There I said the 'P' word. Potential,potential, potential ..........
God loves you with a love that is overflowing and so do I!
Your sister in Christ aka Momma