One Day at a Time

10 more shifts left at work
28 days until I leave for Texas
82 days until I take my first steps onto a ship in Africa I will call home for 9 or 10 months

I have to be honest. These numbers felt like the weight of the world a couple of days ago. I was out looking for a few things for my trip and felt this weird sadness. I'm not good with closure or saying goodbye. I know what you'll say, "its not goodbye" but I'm thinking "see you later" is also pretty freakin' tough. I couldn't explain why I felt sad, but I think Jenny was right in telling me she thought it was a somewhat normal emotion. I am ridiculously excited for next year. I have never been so sure of something in my life, which still amazes me as I write. I trust God so fully with my life, something which has been refined over the last year and a half or so. I am being called to do something that I can't do on my own. On my own I would never leave my mom and the ability to hug her and tell her I love her whenever I wanted. I would never intentionally miss out on my dads "bob-isms" as I call them which make me laugh and love him more every time one comes out. I wouldn't leave the special moments I have with my sister when we both laugh a little too long at someones joke or going out to eat "just because". I would never turn in a letter of resignation at a job I love so much. You wouldn't see me waving goodbye to girls who have become like sisters to me and have walked beside me in life the last several months. By myself I am not strong enough to do even one of the things on this list.
These little, everyday things that I will miss threaten to leave a lump in my throat every time I think of them.
Every time they come up I need to remind myself that God knew the plans he had for me before I was ever born. He knit me together to serve a very specific purpose. This is all a part of His plan, I am a part of His plan and He will provide all of the strength I need.
I am willing to sacrifice a lot, but am I willing to sacrifice it all? I'm scared God will call me to do this long-term. That after 10 months He will say I'm not done yet.
I am instantly reminded that God will never give me more than I can handle in one day. That's it~ One day. I can do one day.

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

I can do that.