He made this wretch His treasure

So here I am.
2 years ago this weekend I became a Christian. Its almost impossible to recount to you what I have been through since then, or worse, where I was before.
I've never written my testimony here, I won't go into great detail, but I would love to have the opportunity to express what Easter means to me.

2 years ago during the week leading up to Easter I felt an urge to return to church. I grew up in church, but essentially "checked out" around 14 or 15, went through the motions and then left entirely at 18. I have used the quote about sin taking you places you never wanted to go, costing you more than you want to pay, and keeping you there longer than you wanted to stay. It couldn't be more true of my situation. By the time I was considering going back to church I was an empty shell, living for the weekends and party's with friends. My identity came from trying to please everyone around me, all the while hating myself.
I was a wretch.
I went to church on Good Friday, and then again on Easter. The service that day was labeled "Jesus: Undeniable"
My sister giving her testimony was the message.
God astounds me everyday. He never lets a single detail slip. He is brilliant, He is glorious. He knew the one person to use in speaking to my heart, to make my heart open wide like it hadn't in years.
During worship after her testimony I prayed for God to flood my heart. To consume me. He did, and still does to this day.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you my life has been a cake walk since then. Far from it, actually. The week following this was the worst of my life, literally. I prayed one day over my current situation and within hours I was been crushed by some information.
God promised me this in Psalm 71:20
"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up"
I felt at peace, I knew I would be ok, and that day ended up being one of the most pivotal in my life, I thank God for it.

The opportunity with Mercy Ships came on the scene within weeks, pretty good timing, eh? Seemingly impossible events all coming together landed me on a short term trip here to Benin last year around this time. I don't think there is enough room or time for me to even attempt to go through the past year and all that's happened. That trip last April introduced me to Africa, set the course for this year,and left me with a desire in my heart that was unmistakable. If you read this blog then you know I am back in Benin, this time for a little longer.
On Good Friday I cried through the Passion of the Christ, and on Sunday I cried through singing Amazing Grace.
I have never once made it through that song without tears. The words never grow old or familiar to me, I pray they never will. I was saved two years ago on Easter. Saved from myself, a life without joy, a pit of insecurity, saved from this world.

Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I'm found
was blind but now I see


Sunrise service Easter morning on the ship.

Myself and some of the "gateway girls" after church. (Don't worry mom, I wore a dress to church that night. I haven't forgotten everything you taught me)