Sometimes

"Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they're always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name"

Is this only a Boston thing? Or does the rest of the world know about Cheers? A lot of us always joke that nobody from Boston actually goes to Cheers, its full of tourists snapping pictures of the sign outside a bar made famous by a TV show.
What does this have to do with anything, you may ask?
Well, to be honest this song has been playing in my head recently. I don't know if its because summer is starting up and I have never missed these months soaking up New England summers at the cape. Maybe I am imagining myself missing nights of sitting in the backyard with my friends who have been part of my life for the past 15 years. Maybe its that at the end of a long day or week, sometimes you would rather sit in the presence of someone who knows every little thing about you, someone who requires not a single word to be spoken, someone who knows that I need time to process.
I'm not homesick. I don't think that 3 months is necessarily a long time to be away, or a year for that matter. However, there is something to be said about being "home", surrounded by people who know you. I don't think missing that is abnormal. I also think these feelings stem from something much deeper, such is life, right?
I talk casually about how I'm not sure what the plan is for my life as of December. I have no clue. To be honest, I love that I don't know. Its exciting, its thrilling, its...

making my heart ache.

I can say without doubt that I will go wherever I am called, my trust concerning that is present and accounted for. I will go anywhere, do anything. The only thing I can't imagine right now is this year being the end of missions for me.
It hurts to think about it sometimes.

I won't lie and say its easy to miss my best friends wedding this month, or not be able to hug my family whenever I feel like it. I won't pretend that sitting here, just thinking about this, doesn't make my eyes blur with tears.
My moms voice saying "Take it one day at a time" rings in my ears.
When I step back and look at my life here I see God present in every encounter, every friendship, every trial, and all of the joy I experience. There are people here who are beginning to know me, some seemed to have walked right into my life, right alongside me, as if they've been there all along. I count every kind word, perfectly timed shoulder rub, random hug in the hallway, and every other similar daily occurrence, as God providing comfort. This eases the heaviness, but it doesn't mask the fact that as children of God we are sometimes asked to sacrifice things, and sometimes it hurts.
I would never discount that doing God's will trumps everything else in this life, I have seen both sides, I've been there. I love that this is my life, I am honored to have this privilege.
I have no doubts with where I am or where I'm going. I wouldn't trade being here, and my possible future in missions for anything.
It just that sometimes...