Surrounded

Lamentations 3:32-33 reads;
"Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men."

My good friend Sarah read this out loud at the pool today when we got word from Ali back on the ship that Hubert had been intubated and was not looking good. We talked while I tried unsuccessfully to hold back tears.
There is a very real gut feeling that we have that Gods will may be to call sweet Hubert home to Him. We discussed that we have peace with that fact. We are thankful for the comfort we find in knowing he truly will be in a better place. He may soon be in the arms of Jesus.

When we came back to the ship we went directly to the ICU where I saw Hubert's mom visibly upset. Not withdrawn, not uncaring, purely sad. I touched her arm and she lifted it ever so slightly so my fingers would slip under her wrist. I leaned my body against her curled up body, I held on tightly to her wrist, praying for this family and this little baby I love with all of my heart. Hubert looks peaceful, he isn't fighting to breath or laboring away anymore. He simply appears to be sleeping. Sarah soon came and asked if I wanted to go pray which I gratefully nodded yes to.

We love you God, we know you are good. We know you will reign. Thank you for Hubert. Thank you for bringing him here.
Thank you for the healing you have brought to this family, we can see it, we know its there.
Please God, bring us peace and understanding in this. Let us stand united in what your will for this child is.
You know him, you knit him together in his mothers womb. Thank you for letting us love him. Thank you for showing us what perfect love really is. What it feels like when you hold it in your arms.
Surround him with your angels, God. We know you hold him ever so gently in the palm of your hand. You are good. You are mighty to save.
We know you hold onto this baby valiantly, you will not let him go.

As I talked with other nurses, and now as I process this all, alone with my thoughts, I feel a perfect presence I would never be able to put into words. My friend Megan said at home when a baby was dying that she felt special angels were sent to take that baby home. I have been crying thinking about how precious that thought is, how comforting it is.
As I listened to one of my favorite songs today at the pool, putting scripture into song, explaining why I am here, I heard this line like never before;
"For the children who sleep in the cities of dark, let your love come and touch them with your fathers heart.
Help us love mercy, help us do justly, help us walk humbly, with you God."
-Micah 6:8, Charlie Hall

You see, I am on a ship, off the coast of West Africa, with an army of angels. They have surrounded baby Hubert and will be remain there regardless of what the ultimate outcome is. That is where my peace comes from. That is the God I serve. He will reign.