The cry of my heart

Disclaimer: Contents of this post may be mushy at times.

So I have had this topic on my mind for quite a while. Back in the very first week I was in Texas one of the instructors said the quote "The cry of the heart is hold me tight". I don't know why it stuck, and I'm not even sure why I think about it almost daily. Back on my date with God during our silent retreat the quote came to mind again. I won't go into all of my deepest thoughts and moments of that day(believe it or not, I do keep a lot of these thoughts to myself), but I realized how powerful the line of thinking that followed was when I read back in my prayer journal this morning to that entry.

On that morning I had started thinking of all of the things in my past that my heart has cried out for. Throughout the years I had cried out for many things, thinking I could find them in a boyfriend or even one of my friends. Here is the list I made : Love, butterflies (you know,the kind in your stomach when you are falling in love) to be comforted, consoled, cared for, calmed, adored, confident, jealousy over me, to feel protected, to laugh, be joyful, feel satisfied, have fun, adventure, feel important, be cherished, feel beautiful, lifted up, have emotional intimacy, to be challenged, have a partner, have an advocate, be respected, have trust without fear, and to have a friend.
When I became a Christian I prayed for some of these things, right down to the butterflies in my stomach, I wanted to fall in love...with God, and I wanted to literally feel it.
God showed me that day that He was all I needed, He fulfills every cry of my heart. I have slowly started realizing what a true "love" relationship with God looks and feels like. This morning I finished the book Epic by John Eldredge. I love his writing, and this book is no exception. I have always considered my life a story with all of its chapters indicating different times, stages, and lessons in my life. This book is "The story God is telling and the role that is yours to play" fitting, eh?
I liked this quote a lot:
"Something has been calling to you all the days of your life. You've heard it in the wind and in the music you love, in laughter and in tears, and most especially in the stories that have captured your heart. There is a secret written on your heart. A valiant Hero-lover and his beloved. An Evil one and a great battle to fight. A journey and a quest, more dangerous and more thrilling that you can imagine. A little fellowship to see you through. This is the gospel of Christianity."
The base of all of this (for me) is the cry of my heart, to love and be loved, I want to be held tight.

Towards the end of the book you read about living "happily ever after". Who doesn't want that? Its not just a girlie-princess thing (I should know, I didn't even like princess movies as a little girl, Peter Pan was more my style). In looking at life in a eternal perspective (currently working on this thought process, not quite there yet) we get to look ahead to the happy ending.
"It is the return of the beauty, the intimacy, and the adventure we were created to enjoy and have longed for every day of our lives. And yet, better, for it is immortal."

A few weeks ago when I got home I was watching a Rob Bell nooma video called Rain. If you have 10 minutes go ahead and watch it (its free on that website). Through tears, (I know, I know) I was able to manage to listen to what he was saying at the end, and I love the scripture he used (and it just happens to fit perfectly with this topic).

Psalm 84:2
"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the LORD; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God."